Anxiety Vs. Trust | Fear vs. Faith

Let me start this post by saying that I love Jesus. I've always tried in my life to show people that I was a Christian by my love and not just saying it.  I'll explain why. 

I grew up in church. Let me rephrase that - many churches. It was always hard to find the right church that fit my entire family (remember - I'm the oldest of 7). I consistently felt people would talk the talk but n ot walk the walk. So I hated to be the person that just talked about Jesus but didn't live for Him.

For a few years growing up - we actually were involved in what I later found out was a cult. It was a place where people manipulate you into looking the way they wanted you to look - saying the things they wanted you to say - and believing what they wanted you to believe. A few years ago, I found out that the main leader was raping women and manipulating families. How can you be part of an experience like this and not realize how important it is to not live in anxiety and fear but trust and faith? 

I know this is messed up - but I seriously blocked out so many things from my childhood. I used my personal relationship with Jesus and love of my friends and family to get me through. 

This brings me to another honest moment - I struggle with anxiety. I always worry about the worst case scenario and question myself consistently. I am also really hard on myself if I make mistakes. I have to consistently check myself and say this verse over and over: 

"...but seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:33

It's hard for me to share this with you - because part of me doesn't want anyone to see me in a different light - but the other part of me knows there are probably people out there that struggle with it too.

Here is what I've learned. When you have anxiety - that means that you are not trusting. I'm not trusting in God that He is going to take care of me. I'm not trusting in my experience or trusting that I can accomplish it. 

When you live your life in fear, that means that you are lacking faith.

LITERALLY, the definition of faith is: "complete trust or confidence in someone or something".

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you" - Psalm 56:3

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18 

I include these scriptures because it's honestly what helps me. I honestly haven't trusted the Truth enough and therefore constantly have to check myself.

I hope this helps you today. <3 I pray that you can live your life in trust and faith versus fear and anxiety. Think positive, write down all of the pros before the cons and truly surround yourself with people that encourage you and build you up.

I got this - and so do you. <3